And not for the first time. This is the third time and I know that it is now a permanent loss.

The first time this happened, I was living in Hong Kong. My hair was naturally brown but I had been a blonde for a long time. When a fancy new hair salon opened in Kowloon I just had to try it. At that time Asians and Blacks were not able to straighten or dye their hair as they do today. The most daring could, at best, change their black hair to a coppery brown. I was aware that Asian hair is a lot coarser than Caucasian hair but this thought eluded me when I checked into the Shisheido Salon on Nathan Road.

After thirty minutes of being capped with blue gunk I became anxious and called to the prettily uniformed stylist to wash it out. Even though I spoke a smattering of Japanese and this girl spoke a smattering of English, I could not communicate my sense of urgency. Finally, and too late, she led me to the wash basin to shampoo the stuff out. Watching my hair float down the drain was devastating.

Baldness has not enhanced any entertainer’s stage presence…except, maybe, the Irish singer, Sinead O’Connor. I lost my complacency but no-one seemed to share my distress at the result of their service. Swaddled in head scarves, I hired a lawyer to sue them but it was a huge hassle. Finally we agreed that the salon would pay for the wig that I was forced to wear for the next six months. To an energetic dancer who tosses her head while performing, a wig was a less than desirable solution.

Cosmeticians have learned a thing or two since then and there are now millions of blonde, big-busted, Japanese girls with surgically altered eyes roaming the globe. I don’t see any Caucasion women having their breasts removed and their eyes slanted so I blame this trend all on those high-flying, cashed-up Japanese men who frequent the many Japanese clubs along the Ginza. The big money for foreign performers has dwindled, much to the delight of the Dance hostesses who always hated us. And the added bonus for the drooling patrons is that whereas with the foreigners it was “Look but don’t touch” the hostesses have never been averse to a touch or two… even though previously there was not much to touch.

Many years later, after I had sewn my wild oats and settled down to motherhood, I lost my hair for a second time. This time it was due to cancer. I was prepared for my still blonde locks to fall out after chemo. I was not prepared for it to fall out quite so soon – within a week of my first dose, in fact. I well remember the day I climbed out of my car after visiting the grocery store. Huge clumps hair stuck to the head rest, giving me a nasty jolt. Upset, I tugged on the remaining hair and yanked out another handful or two. There was only one thing to do. I ran inside and chopped the remainder off as fast as possible. If it had to go – I wanted to be in control.

So again my hair grew back but it was never the same. Whereas it used to be thick, it was now thin, white and curly. Over time the curls disappeared as the last remnants of chemo left my body but the volume never came back. My mother used to admonish “It’s all the damage you did by dying your hair for years.” She may have been partly right but I never would agree. She had been against me doing anything as immoral as dying my hair from the time I first started while very young.

And now many more years later still, I am stuck with this hateful thin hair. This is a natural part of aging, I know. But I am a vain woman and I fight aging tooth and nail. Thankfully, so far God has been good to me in this battle and I am remarkably free of many aging signs and ailments.

Some people tell me that I must grow old gracefully but I think that is all a load of bull. I don’t consider vanity a bad trait and I find it synonymous with pride. Not everyone uses Botox or pays $300 for a jar of face cream but I say, ‘Why not?’ Most have their teeth capped and/or whitened and I see no difference.

So now, here is the dilemma; as I am a vain woman and my hair is not going to grow back this time, what is the answer? I have always worn hats almost daily. That is not a cover-up. I love hats. But now, apart from a fashion statement, they also hide the fact that my hair is thin. I never lie about my age but I DON’T want to look my age. Judge me if you will!

Wigs are an alternative but they are hot in summer and itch the skin. I don’t do as much head tossing these days but even so, if I accidentally drank too much, there is the possibility one could fly off. These things always happen at the most inopportune moments, don’t they?

Well I don’t lie awake at night worrying about this but I am open to answers. Got any?


11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sheila Luecht
    Jul 25, 2014 @ 02:40:43

    If it concerns you try a short hair wig, one that is natural and just fun. Women are sometimes only as beautiful as they feel. I have seen many women without hair and many with hair that looks fake. It is how you feel that matters, no one else. Best to you.


  2. Joanne V Mazzotta
    Jul 25, 2014 @ 07:13:12

    I love your spirit Miss Junie Moon, and I agree with your take on growing old. I’ve done the expensive face cream and found coconut natural oil the most effective. It’s cost, $4 bucks. 🙂 I hate my hair. I couldn’t imagine you anything but blond. You are beautiful! xo


  3. Charlene
    Jul 25, 2014 @ 11:40:36

    Hi Junie,
    I know hair loss can be due to aging, but certain vitamin and/or mineral deficiencies can also be to blame, or so I’ve heard. Maybe discuss having an in-depth analysis done with your doctor. Good luck.


  4. bflanner
    Jul 25, 2014 @ 23:16:46

    I say that if you’re leaving the house rock some amazing scarves that breathe. Otherwise, go natural and be comfortable. I agree with your take on aging as well. I never lie about my age, but I certainly don’t want to look it. I don’t want plastic surgery, but I want to age very gracefully. I hate my neck.


    • June Collins
      Jul 26, 2014 @ 07:36:23

      I’m sorry to say that my vanity may make me appear to be shallow ( which I really am not). I have on occasion worn a scarf under a hat. Not a bad look – depending on the choice of scarf and hat. Appreciate your comments bflanner.


  5. Lee
    Jul 27, 2014 @ 01:06:02

    i don’t know what to say…what to advise…other than perhaps, it’s better to have an amount of vanity about one’s self, than none at all. And to hell with anyone else if they criticise you for having some! They’re probably to afraid to be honest in admitting that they secretly harbour some vanity. There is nothing wrong as far as I’m concerned in caring about one’s appearance. As for growing old…I think it stinks! lol


    • June Collins
      Jul 27, 2014 @ 03:44:31

      Thanks Lee. I think growing old stinks too. So many people my age are ignored. OR – they get duty calls – kids easing their consciences with short visits. Some of my kids don’t visit at all. And I don’t think I’m boring – immodest enough to say ‘Quite the opposite’.
      There must be plenty of lonely senior citizens out there — mostly women because we usually marry men older than ourselves ( as in my case, 15 years)and we outlive them.
      When women (or men) are retired and socializing less, they don’t have much to occupy their minds or talk about- unless they read a lot. Read-Read-Read!.
      I will never go into an ‘over 50’s’ complex. Some friends have and there seems to be so much gossip, judging others etc. in many of them. I would rather live in a tent with no neighbors. Lucky, I am not lonely and I have a REALLY full and fulfilling life and I hope it always stays that way. My wish for my friends is that they too experience fulfilling lives without the burden of too much ill health. Come to think of it – I’m sure they do because they’re all younger than me. LOL.


  6. Susan Joyce
    Aug 11, 2014 @ 16:34:50

    Be your colorful self! A short cut and a bright scarf would look splendid on you. I also don’t lie about my age. In fact, I’m proud of it. xo
    Susan Joyce


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: